Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

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  (301): I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you. http://tfl.nu/0isu
  Replies (25) Good night (1067) Bad night (2849)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

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  (612): I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/epkg
  Replies (61) Good night (11555) Bad night (1032)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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  (410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc
  Replies (26) Good night (8121) Bad night (779)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

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  (857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx
  Replies (56) Good night (26862) Bad night (1909)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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  (570): Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1c0i
  Replies (31) Good night (5713) Bad night (1089)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.

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  (317): The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope. http://tfl.nu/lawp
  Replies (25) Good night (5449) Bad night (1311)
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  (909): View more from California

  Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there

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  (909): Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there http://tfl.nu/y3ph
  Replies (16) Good night (1814) Bad night (2221)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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  (226): This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex http://tfl.nu/70co
  Replies (7) Good night (1997) Bad night (1152)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.

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  (765): Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears. http://tfl.nu/6dpq
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (1152)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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  (201): we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden http://tfl.nu/jtve
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (572)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic

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  (269): Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic http://tfl.nu/ri8o
  Replies (10) Good night (753) Bad night (362)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates

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  (908): I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates http://tfl.nu/99aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1045) Bad night (360)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.

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  (502): Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie. http://tfl.nu/p8oo
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (352)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?

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  (318): What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church? http://tfl.nu/g4ep
  Replies (9) Good night (1197) Bad night (367)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....

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  (763): He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun.... http://tfl.nu/cilg
  Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (229)

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