Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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  (304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w
  Replies (21) Good night (4702) Bad night (724)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.

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  (805): I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense. http://tfl.nu/syxd
  Replies (27) Good night (7040) Bad night (623)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4418) Bad night (1177)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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  (586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0
  Replies (9) Good night (5127) Bad night (707)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1420) Bad night (2741)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude you has no fucking this poptart

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know to explain this.

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  (843): Dude you has no fucking this poptart (719): What? (843): I dont know to explain this. http://tfl.nu/kk1s
  Replies (35) Good night (6704) Bad night (1416)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!

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  (251): Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again! http://tfl.nu/h5pv
  Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (704)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...

  (1+44): View more from

  That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh

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  (+44): You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl... (1+44): That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh http://tfl.nu/agy9
  Replies (23) Good night (4323) Bad night (1172)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best

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  (630): I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/gccv
  Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (700)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.

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  (412): You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am. http://tfl.nu/b7a5
  Replies (3) Good night (801) Bad night (358)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there

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  (732): he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there http://tfl.nu/19cw
  Replies (3) Good night (260) Bad night (738)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

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  (267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

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  (302): Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite. (302): Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing" http://tfl.nu/v00f
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!

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  (267): It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?! http://tfl.nu/8j1j
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (211)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.

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  (860): And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/jid6
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (447)

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