Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can you bring me the toilet please
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making