Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  don't go home with that guy from jersey

  (626): View more from California

  i know, not worth the blood test

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  (323): don't go home with that guy from jersey (626): i know, not worth the blood test http://tfl.nu/va7v
  Replies (5) Good night (610) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (771) Bad night (2358)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so when am I gonna get some from you?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when you dick grows 3 inches

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  (202): so when am I gonna get some from you? (617): when you dick grows 3 inches http://tfl.nu/rd2p
  Replies (74) Good night (2067) Bad night (8951)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Found more tequila

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  (573): I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair (573): Found more tequila http://tfl.nu/cg6k
  Replies (9) Good night (4658) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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  (514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz
  Replies (154) Good night (628) Bad night (2763)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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  (902): Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better http://tfl.nu/2vo6
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (3792)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.

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  (815): I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle. http://tfl.nu/ehxx
  Replies (4) Good night (3559) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

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  (949): I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer. http://tfl.nu/vxsa
  Replies (4) Good night (724) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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  (413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu
  Replies (6) Good night (3432) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.

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  (920): I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with. http://tfl.nu/59np
  Replies (4) Good night (814) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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  (307): Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick. http://tfl.nu/ynec
  Replies (15) Good night (2292) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs

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  (410): True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs http://tfl.nu/odrq
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.

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  (307): Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me. http://tfl.nu/8ybs
  Replies (0) Good night (1297) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming

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  (425): I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming http://tfl.nu/nsf8
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.

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  (416): I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/fg5i
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (323)

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