Texts From Last Night

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  (705): View more from Ontario

  he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

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  (705): he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me http://tfl.nu/ycl5
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (1539)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

  (702): View more from Nevada

  God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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  (702): It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway. (775): Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ???? (702): God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight. http://tfl.nu/me93
  Replies (14) Good night (628) Bad night (2310)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This guy has a retainer. We're golden.

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  (902): This guy has a retainer. We're golden. http://tfl.nu/im2l
  Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (1959)
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  (951): View more from California

  Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

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  (951): Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/nz84
  Replies (22) Good night (4397) Bad night (720)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.

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  (307): Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR. http://tfl.nu/n9la
  Replies (25) Good night (4609) Bad night (888)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.

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  (319): The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me. http://tfl.nu/ughv
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (2749)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  dude i doubt hes gay

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!

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  (850): dude i doubt hes gay (1-850): I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH! http://tfl.nu/cmky
  Replies (24) Good night (1073) Bad night (4231)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.

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  (765): 4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84. http://tfl.nu/2w31
  Replies (35) Good night (5589) Bad night (551)
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  (408): View more from California

  He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina

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  (408): He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina http://tfl.nu/ro7i
  Replies (27) Good night (930) Bad night (8697)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

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  (704): we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong http://tfl.nu/wuam
  Replies (3) Good night (2357) Bad night (1014)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.

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  (602): You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice. http://tfl.nu/i4j5
  Replies (2) Good night (1370) Bad night (1373)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1351) Bad night (487)
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  (916): View more from California

  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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  (916): BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you http://tfl.nu/atej
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (254)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I have a hunch Mama J got around.

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?

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  (660): I have a hunch Mama J got around. (660): Am I allowed to say that about my own mom? http://tfl.nu/20rk
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (501)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.

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  (860): Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible. http://tfl.nu/baf8
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (326)

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