Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
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i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
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You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.