Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Randomize
Follow @tfln