i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
