Having a random hookup so left but love u
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive