so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
