problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
