We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
