i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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