Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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