me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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