ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
