If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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