he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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