Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
