You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
