do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
