today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
