On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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