in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
