It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
we should paint friendship bongs
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