Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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