I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
