I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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