I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
