There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
