she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
