i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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