I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Are we still banned from the library?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
