no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
