Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
