i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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