I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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