He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
