Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize