I wannas sexs uuuuu
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
