you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.