Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!