There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days