now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize