wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize