Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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