This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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