Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
