Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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