Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
