The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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