Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
