She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
