if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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