U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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