I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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