They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
