so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
