Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize