Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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