i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We are two peas in an std pod
you inspire me to be a worse person
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
