:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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