I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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