i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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