dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
