How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
