If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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