Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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