He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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