never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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