I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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