Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize